Battles, continued

Hi all!  I hope you had a great day today.

Before I get started I would like to ask for prayer for my dad.  He had cataract surgery this morning which went well. Went home fell asleep, woke up vomiting and couldn't get off the couch. They have been at the hospital all evening doing tests and think he picked up the flu bug while at the other hospital. They are sending him home with meds. My parents live in NW Pennsylvania and I am in Virginia, my wonderful sister takes them where they need to go and is always there for them.  

I am thinking I will continue with the same general theme I had yesterday. I was excited to hear comments regarding my post and how others struggle with the same thing.  Not that I want others to struggle, but if hearing about mine helps someone not feel quite so alone, then I am willing to share.  

I did get out of the house today!  Just a couple errands and grocery store, but hey, I had to shower, get dressed and out the door!  Maybe you think that sounds funny, or maybe hard to understand, but it is real.  

I am not sure if this is related to menopause....laziness...or some other "thing".  But I don't like it!   Oh, by the way......if there is one thing in this life that I hate.....and we are not to hate I know....and I don't hate people...I just hate menopause!!!   Seems it totally messes with every aspect of my mind and body.  

Now I could blame this on menopause, but I also know me.  I have most of my life been the type of person who likes my little corner. And my house and gardens are my favorite corner.  The pic of the hammocks yesterday are in my garden and my favorite place to talk to God.

 When I go somewhere, I don't want to be noticed. I like the back of the church, in my own little corner pew.  I tend to be very quiet, until I am comfortable and know the people around me.  

When I come home the first thing I do is take off my good clothes, and put on preferably jammies!  no bra!!   My clothes I wear around my house are loose, comfortable and generally stained.  Do I like wearing nice clothes?  Yes, usually.  I just can't wait to get them off when I get home! 

So, there are some weird things about me.  The tendency to want to stay in the house, is temporary, I know.  I will be antsy, and missing people contact soon. When I am sleeping  the day away, it makes me feel like I'm sleeping life away. 

God has me here on this earth, in this house, this state, this town and this church for a reason.  I don't want to miss out on the exciting journey He has for me, so I will continue to pray, fighting the battle with menopause or laziness or whatever it is. 



Philippians 4:13            I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. 

Philippians 4:19           And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4: 4,6,7        Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and  your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Let's remember to pray for each other. Each one of us is here for a reason.  Maybe we can share what we think our purpose is in this life.  Maybe in sharing we will help each other to see that purpose more clearly.  

Have a great day tomorrow!  If you are struggling with getting out of the house, get dressed, and go out for a soda at the drive thru.  As you pick up your soda, take the time to say a big thank you, have a great day and smile at the person serving you!  It takes no extra time and if you do it every time you will be amazed at the ones who really appreciate it!  It's one of my favorite things to do!  Just a smile, thank you , have a great day.  So easy.  

Love,
Barb

Battles

I haven't been at my church since December 21,2014.  We had our choir cantata that day. It was beautiful. Since then, we celebrated Christmas with our kids through out the next week.  I absolutely love Christmas and having my house full of family and friends! 
The week after, I was keeping my two granddaughters because they had no school till Jan. 
By the end of that week, I was sick with an upper respiratory/bronchial thing.  First trip to Dr. got antibiotic and cough syrup.  Second trip to Dr the next week, another antibiotic, cough syrup and prednisone.  Not fun.  I have never been knocked down like this did to me. 
And now my husband has the flu!!!   
With all that, tonight was the first night I have been back to church.  It felt great to be with the choir family tonight and sing God's praises. 


So, why do I tell you all that?  I have been home, in the house for 3 weeks.  Mostly feeling too rotten to move.  Spent nights in a chair so I wouldn't be up all  night coughing.

I find myself becoming quite a recluse.  And honestly I don't mind it.  I like staying home. (Wish I had the energy and motivation to be productive at home!)  I enjoy being around my house and the peace and quiet here.  I find the more I stay home the more I want to stay home.  

I'm wondering how many others feel like this?  I don't tend to get antsy to be out and about. I'm pretty content right here.  I do know after a while, I will get lonely and need people contact.  I do love having people  here. 

So why was it so very hard to get out of the house tonight and go back to church?  It seems to be a battle I fight the more I stay home. Once I got there, it's only 4 miles from my house, it felt so good to be back in the land of the living!  As we were singing, I could close my eyes and worship my Lord through the music and it felt wonderful.. Why, then, when I am home, do I tend to forget that and have to fight the battle again to get out? 

It seems I am a strange person. I have two sides of me I think.  One side loves my Lord with all my heart and all my soul. The other loves Him, but would rather do it from inside my own comfortable home. 

One side of me loves people. On Monday nights we have been having ladies night out at my house. A few ladies come and we just have fun. A game or two, a small snack, and a small devotion. Just a fun time out, no pressure, come as you are. And I love it!!  

The other side loves people, but has a really hard time reaching out to them.  I want to, I think about it, but I don't.  

One side of me loves to have a house full of grandkids and family. It fills my heart with joy and completeness.

The other side loves it when they all go home!  

One side of me loves my church, loves being part of the choir, loves teaching my Sunday school class. 

The other part is struggling with getting back into it after being gone for so long.  

So do you have these kind of struggles?  Am I totally weird?  Maybe it's just plain selfishness??

Do I only want to do what I want to do when I want to do it???   Oh my, look at all those I's!

Reminds me of Paul...Romans 7:15, 19-25 
    I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do -  this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ  our Lord!

It seems this is a very real battle. Only through Jesus can it be won. I know we are not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. We are to worship the Lord together.  I need to be with other Christian people who love the Lord and help me in my walk with Him. I need to sing to Him. Singing is a gift God has given me that brings me closer to Him.  Sometimes when I can't pray, I can sing. He will bring a song to my mind that perfectly describes the need.  What an awesome God!!

In closing, I would like to ask for  your prayers as I fight this battle.  I do believe it is spiritual, the enemy does not want God to be praised. He does not want God to be glorified and lifted up.  He does not want God's people to be about God's business.  

Pray that I am reminded of what God has assigned for me to do at this time in my life, and I will follow Him and not my own selfish desires. 


Thank you!

Love,
Barb

Hi! I'm back again.  Still struggling with consistency.  Can't seem to sit down at a regular time and write.  Am I the only person with this problem?  Unless I have to be accountable to someone, I seem to procrastinate waaay too much!  I tend to leave things until the last possible minute to finish them up.  Then am frustrated because I did.  

There is one area of my life that is not that way.

  I am so thankful God brought BSF into my life over 12 years ago! Through this study, He has brought me back from the pit and restored my relationship with Him.  Not only restored but He has made it more than I ever could have imagined! And He's not finished yet!!

Because of the work God does through BSF I have learned how absolutely vital it is for me to study His Word every day of my life!  If I have a day (which usually ends up being more than one) when I don't spend time with Him, I am wondering what in the world is going on??   Well,   duh....... it finally dawns on me.....I haven't talked or listened to my Lord!  

BSF is set up to study God's Word daily. It teaches how to study and understand and apply God's Word to our daily lives.  It has amazed me over the years how many times what I am studying is exactly applicable to the things going on in my life.  

I have been a children's leader for going on 3 years now.  I started out as a group leader four years ago, then was asked to lead children. I adore children!  They are so eager to learn and amazingly able to understand and apply God's Word in ways I struggle with. 

As a children's leader, I have learned so much more than I ever thought possible. I have to know the lesson before I can teach it.  The time spent preparing is exciting, fulfilling and very hard sometimes.  The same lesson the children study, I study.  I also study my own adult lesson.  The only way any of this is possible for me is through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  He gives me the desire, the time, the understanding, and how to teach it to the children in a way they will understand. 

This to me is another aspect of God's grace.  By His grace I am able to spend the time I need preparing for this work He has given me to do.  By His grace He has allowed me to work with children.  I love children!  

This week we studied Leviticus 16.  We are studying the life of Moses this year.  In this chapter, God gives Moses explicit instructions for Aaron in how he is to approach God.  Leviticus 16 is about the day of Atonement. God instructed Israel to observe this day once a year. The people were to deny themselves and focus on God for the whole day. No work, no play, no food.... As the people fasted and prayed, the high priest was making atonement for their sins.  The detail in exactly how the priest was to do this is amazing.  And mind boggling! Until I wrote it all down to use as a teaching tool for our children, I hadn't grasped just how much there was.  I'm not going into detail, it would be really long..please read it for yourself and maybe take notes and write down each detail. You will be amazed.

Why do we need to know this?  We teach the children how this applies to their lives today.
The day of atonement was for the Israelites as they looked forward to the coming Jesus. 
Jesus has fulfilled all the requirements God demanded be met for His people to be forgiven of sin. Before Jesus, sacrifices had to be made, atonement made exactly as God specified. 

Jesus is the atonement for our sins. He is God's sacrificial lamb. Once for all time.  God made Jesus the scapegoat by putting all our sins on Him at the cross.  Jesus was perfect, unblemished, sacrificed, died and then rose again! Conquering death!  Praise God!!!

Jesus says in John 14:6  "I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." 

All we have to do is accept Him.  Have you come to Jesus?  Do you know Him as your Savior?  Have you admitted you are a sinner in need of forgiveness of your sins? Ask Jesus!  He will accept you just the way you are right now.  No sacrifice, nothing you have to do. Just ask.  Then accept.  

I posted this pic on facebook today of two of my new Christmas decorations, that I am going to leave out this year. 
This is in front of my living room window facing the front of the house. 

I asked if anyone could see why I decided to leave it out. 

One lady came very close.  Everyone else had great answers and I agree with everything they said.  I was going to respond on facebook and let everyone know my quirky reasoning, but decided to do it on here instead. 

I am not an "angel" person. I have not even really been impressed with this large one after I brought it home.  (I am a "snowman" girl.)

I love the lion and the lamb one though.  After I cleaned off this table I decided to keep the lion/lamb out.  The symbolism of it just grabs my heart. 

Isa 65:17 - 25 (NIV)  "See, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. 
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.   I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more. 
 "Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; the one who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere child; the one who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed. 
 They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit. 
 No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands. 
  They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them. 
 Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. 

 The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, and dust will be the serpent's food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain," says the LORD. 

I can't wait for this day!!  

Then I was taking down the big angel with the trumpet...and I thought...oh my...the lion and the lamb will not happen until the trumpet sounds and Jesus comes back for us!

1Thessalonians 4:16 -17 (NIV)  For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.   After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 

So...there is my quirky mind!   I just thought oh my they have to be together the whole year as a reminder to me to always be looking for my Lord's return.  Because He has promised!!

Keep looking up!!  
Love,
Barb

Faith is a gift!

Does it amaze you when you see or hear God speak through the different things in your life you do? 

I teach Sunday school to teenagers and am also a co-leader in the children's program at BSF. (Biblestudyfellowshipinternational.org)  If you are anywhere near a class I encourage you to go!  It is the most amazing and in depth study of God's Word you will find anywhere.  God has totally changed my life through BSF.

Ok, now that I have encouraged you to look into BSF.....I find it amazing how much I learn as I study and prepare for my Sunday school or BSF class.  

I was typing up lesson questions to use in SS and one of the questions was "What is faith in Jesus Christ?"... I'm thinking Hebrews 11:1 .... confidence in what I hope for and assurance about what I do not see...specifically for me the promises Jesus made and continues to fulfill.  

The next question "Where does faith in Jesus Christ come from?"  As I was typing this up and looked at the answer, it took me by surprise.  This answer referenced Ephesians 2:8-9.  
Eph 2:8  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- 

Eph 2:9  not by works, so that no one can boast. 

I have read these verses so many times, have memorized them, but somehow overlooked faith being a gift.  Somehow my quirky brain always thought this was referring to grace being the gift of God. 

Now I know faith doesn't come through me or anything I can do..and thinking about it yes, it is a gift of God.  I guess I just hadn't really thought that deeply about it before.   We know our faith in God grows stronger as we walk with Him and trust Him in our daily lives.  I know that. To think of it as a gift just seems to make me stop and really think more about it.  

So I'm curious....what do you think?  Please leave a comment and we will talk more about faith....

Have a great night!  Worship the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind tomorrow as you attend your own church services!  

Love,
Barb

and me....

before I start, let me apologize to anyone who has been waiting for this next post.  I have had a horrible upper respiratory/bronchial infection this week that has knocked me on my butt!  I am sorry I did not post for the last few nights. 

Grace, Faith and me....I'm still not sure this is what it will stay...Grace, the amazing undeserved gift God gives me every day to live this life..."and my grace will be sufficient for you..."  2 Corinthians 12:9  
Faith, growing in grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior even though I cannot see Him in front of me.  "faith is confidence in what I hope for and assurance of what I do not see..." Hebrews 11:1

me...... what do grace and faith have to do with me?  No capital letter for me....I am the smallest part of this relationship.  I am nothing but a minuscule speck of dust. I am nobody. 

But.....God.....sent his only begotten son, that if I call on His name I shall be saved...John 3:16...
me????? God sent His Son...so that tiny, minuscule, nobody me would have the opportunity to be saved????

Why would the God of the universe, the Creator of the universe, the God who knows the names of every star in the night sky..who NAMED them!!  God who spoke into existence this very world in such a detailed way that it is impossible for a human mind to completely comprehend it all.  God who created man in His own image!!  

This God, sent His Son to die a horrible death so that I could be here tonight knowing my real home is with Him in Heaven. Knowing I will not have to pay the penalty for my sins, because they have already been paid for. 

me....I am minuscule, tiny speck of dust...BUT...I am important to God!!  He chose me to have a relationship with His Son.  What an amazing gift!!  There is no better gift in this whole world.  Grace...God sent grace to me...Faith...though faith in His Son I have eternal life now and forever more.  

This blog I pray will be me, sharing my journey of faith in Jesus Christ my Lord, with you. Because of the gift of grace.  

There are many days my faith stumbles, and others when I feel strong in my faith. I hope to share both with you.  Sharing the stumbles may well be difficult. It's hard to admit failure..hard to admit when we sin against our Lord.   I believe if we share those times we can uplift and encourage others who may be experiencing the same types of trials.

James 5:16  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. 

I would like to pray for you and I ask for your prayers also for me.  

Psalm 19:14  May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. 

Barb

Faith

Why would I want the word faith in the name of my blog?

The definition of faith according to the dictionary in my Bible is - reliance, loyalty, or complete trust in God or someone else.
According to my online Webster's dictionary one definition of faith is the emotion of the mind which is called trust or confidence,  exercised toward the moral character of God, and particularly of the Savior, Jesus Christ. There are many others, but I think my favorite definition of faith is in the book of Hebrews. 

Hebrews 11:1    Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  (NIV)

other verses I like regarding faith include..

Hebrews 11:6    And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.  (NIV)

Romans 5:1    Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 


There are many others I like too, but won't list them all here.  I'd love to hear some of your favorite verses!  

Faith, why is it important to me?  My life revolves around my faith in Jesus Christ.   I have no doubt that He exists, that He is real, He loves me and is involved in my life. Do you wonder how I know? 

That's where faith comes in. I have confidence in what I hope for and assurance about the promises He has made that I do not yet see.  I know there is a home in heaven being built for me specifically!   I look forward with anticipation to that day when I can look into Jesus eyes, take His hand,  actually touch Him!!!  And walk through heaven talking to Him.  

So how did I get here?  Are you wondering how I can be so confident? ............... Wow, me confident.....that is not at all a word I would use to describe myself...I'm sitting here kind of in shock? or awe?  not sure how to describe it...to look and see that word...confident..about me....OK, so Lord, I am learning as I am blogging..thank you!!

Anyway, that is a story for another time....right now an amazing praise to God!

So, I can be confident, not in myself, not at all, my confidence comes through my faith in Jesus Christ.  I am confident that He does not lie. I am confident that He keeps His promises. I am confident that He will never leave or forsake me!  

This comes from experiencing Him in my life.  Most especially in the last 10 - 15 years,  He has literally reached down and directed my life in such a way that has led me right here, tonight, right now to be able to sit and type this blog and assure you that, Yes, Jesus Christ is alive. Yes, Jesus Christ is the Son of God. Yes, Jesus Christ can and will forgive ANY sin!
And if Jesus can love me (and He does!) He will also love you!!!

I will never forget the first time I studied Romans in Bible Study Fellowship.  (Look it up Biblestudyfellowshipinternational.org) Again a story for later!  But when I read Romans 7:14 - 25,  I was stunned!!!  Paul was describing not only himself, but ME!!!!

I am going to put my own words in here, so please look up the verses for yourself!!
Paul said I do not understand what I do. What I want to do I don't do, but what I don't want to do I do! What I hate I do! Good itself does not dwell in me, it is my sinful nature.  I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot do it.  Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. What a wretched man (woman) I am! Who will rescue me?  Praise be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ my Lord!

I still can read this passage and be amazed that a man like Paul felt so exactly like I do. He called himself the chief of all sinners....I tend to think I fit that,  some day I look forward to talking to Paul about it!   :)

My faith rests in Jesus Christ who has set me free from sin, by His sacrifice of Himself on the cross to pay the penalty for MY sin. 

So, I want faith to be a part of my blog title because it is how I live my life.  I hope as we continue on, (and I hope you will continue with me!) that I can share my faith journey in such a way that you will be encouraged and grow confident in faith in Jesus. 

Please feel free to comment. Your comments will encourage me to keep at this. Thank you for reading my attempt to blog!  This is another one of those learning experiences I believe God has set before me.  I am going to do my best to be obedient!   

Have a great day tomorrow...oops just  looked at the time....it is now today!.....
Remember to look for Jesus in your life, ask Him to reveal Himself to you....He will do it!  

Love and prayers sent your way! 
Barb

 Welcome to Grace, Faith and Me! 

Guess this should have been my first post huh?  Are you wondering why I would choose that name for my blog?  I did too.  My sister, who is Bev from here on out, :)  had talked to me about blogging for a few years and one of my hesitations was the name.  I just had  no idea. 

So we started talking about the reason for my blog.  What do I want to accomplish? What is my focus? As we talked my goal for having a blog would first and foremost be to honor my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 
I would like to share my journey through this life God gave me and hopefully to encourage you on your own journey with Jesus. I wanted a name that would reflect first Him and second my journey with Him. 
And so Grace, Faith and Me was created.  
I will try to explain why...

First....Grace...what is grace?  my Bible dictionary tells me grace is "God's free and unmerited favor for sinful humanity."  my online Webster's dictionary says grace is favor,pardon, mercy, privilege, goodwill, kindness, the favorable influence of God. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 ....."My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".......(NIV)

1 Corinthians 15:10    But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them, yet not I, but  the grace of God that was with me   (NIV)

Ephesians 2:4-5    But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions, it is by grace you have been saved. (NIV)

Hebrews 4:16   Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (NIV)

2 Peter 3:18  But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever. Amen! (NIV)

It is only by the grace of God that I am here today typing this.  God picked up a mouthy, sassy, ready to fight, yet deep inside so insecure and hurting, skinny girl and through many, many years of grace and even through the years of disobedience, God in His great love for me has allowed me to grow in the grace and knowledge of His Son, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!  

That's why I chose grace.  I am living proof of the grace of God. Undeserving on my way to hell. Until.......God's grace!  

I am praying that you also will experience God's grace in your life.  I pray you will grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!.  Believe me, it is the most exciting journey you will ever take! 

I want to thank those who commented on my first couple of posts.  I appreciate your comments and will do my best to be a faithful blogger! 

Have a great night and may God's grace be apparent to you this week. 

Barb

I have been putting off getting back to my blog for 2 months now. Wow!  I cannot think of how I want to start.  I decided to wait till after the first of the year and say exciting things about a new start, but it's been 3 days....it is all jumbled in my head. I really have no idea what is going to come out as I type this, but here goes...

My first blog entry was all about family.  My sister had brought my parents down for a week and it was wonderful. Filled me with thanks and awareness of the blessing of family.  I could go on again with that same theme tonight.  Christmas just over and all my kids here again...I would love to tell you about my awesome kids and grandkids! 

Maybe I am trying too hard to get everything in at once.  

I am praying God will help me to be faithful to this. I am hoping to start with once a week. Would love to do every day, but I know me and it won't happen.  I've tried so many many times over the years to journal..Don't know how many half-filled ones I have..

Have you made a new year's resolution? I have never really done that. It would be forgotten about after a few weeks.  Have you ever thought about asking God to help you do something in the next year? Be a little, or a lot, different?  Feel different?  Accomplish something?  

  I have asked His help in my relationship with...and here I sit...wondering..do I really type in who??? should I put it out there for all to see??  there are some who will judge...do I care??  some who will completely understand and cheer me on...some who will not understand why I care about this..

My goal for this blog is to be God honoring, to be honest, to share the love of Jesus with anyone who happens by to read what I've written. I hope to be encouraging, faithful and even to maybe help others in their walk with the Lord. 

So in order to honor God, I am not at this time going to share who this person is with you. I would not want to cause hard feelings. 

Would you pray for me though? Pray that I will listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and obey quickly when it comes to this relationship. Pray that I will allow my heart to be softened and filled with love for this person. 

Well, I think that is all for tonight.  For anyone who reads this I pray that you have a good night's sleep, and that tomorrow you will be filled with God's love for those He has placed in your life. 

Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as yourself."